Teens often feel a sense of guilt when their parents split up, as though they are somehow responsible for what has happened.
But parents split up because of problems in their relationship — not because of their kids. It's not your fault!
Q & A
Q:
What is the difference between separation and divorce?
A:
When two people have been living together and they decide not to live together anymore, they are separated.
However, when married people separate, their marriage has not yet ended. They have to get a divorce to legally end a marriage.
Couples who have not been married don't have to get a divorce, because there is no marriage to end. But they may still be going to court to decide on parenting time and dividing property.
Q:
Will I be able to spend time with both parents?
A:
In the vast majority of cases, children get to spend time with both parents. How much time you spend with each parent, and exactly how that will work, will depend on your custody and parenting time (visitation) arrangements.
Remember: Parents divorce each other, not their children. Your parents are still your parents, and they still love you.
Q:
I'm feeling really upset and confused about my parents splitting up. Is this normal?
A:
It's natural — and entirely normal — to experience some intense emotions. You will feel better over time. There are lots of ways to help yourself feel better, and people who can help you if you need it.
Q:
I'm feeling guilty about my parents splitting up. Was there something I did to cause it?
A:
It's very common for teens to believe that they have somehow caused their parents to split up. But you are not the reason for your parents splitting up. Parents split up because of problems in their relationship.
I really feel like I need some help in dealing with this. Who should I ask?
A:
There are lots of people around you who can help. Tell your parents, teacher, school counselor, family doctor or another adult you trust. If they can't help you themselves, they should be able to help you find someone who can.
If you aren't getting the help you think you need, keep asking until you get it.
